Divorce - The Effect on Children

The outcome of divorce is not limited to the emotionalparents may ultimately end up together after all.
trauma that the divorced couple undergoes. TheChildren react in different ways - they may resort to
disenchantment that the child of a failed marriageinflicting pain on themselves, being the victim of
experiences often remains unnoticed. Unlike thedepression and sense of powerlessness. Symptoms
parents, the child cannot foresee the disbanding of theof depression include abandonment of society, loss of
marriage and the family set-up, they are too young tospontaneity, as well as antagonism and irrational
perceive the warning signs. There is nothing to preparebehavior. Often the child's relationship with its friends
them beforehand from the terrible pain of divorce.and family, including siblings, are affected too.
Even the adolescents lack the practical sense ofTo help the children deal with their emotional ordeal, the
moving on with life in the face of the termination ofparents need to bear certain things in mind throughout
their established routine of everyday life.the divorce proceedings, and afterwards as well. They
Parents try to break the news of an impendingshould not criticize or squabble with each in front of the
divorce to the children as gently as possible. Theychildren. They must not exert pressure of any kind on
assure the kids that it is not their fault that their parentsthe children to take sides, even though the marital
are no longer staying together. However, what therelation ends, the parental relation of either partner with
parents say only confuses the young minds. Thethe children continues. It is unfair to turn the child into a
children are not mature enough to understand thego-between or conciliator, or to use it as an instrument
workings of an intimate relationship, or to grasp thefor meting out further abuse on the husband or the
reasons for its failure. The parents need to understandwife. Since all the disciplinary actions have been
the difference between their feelings for their spousehandled out and all vital information imparted to the
from what the child feels towards its caregiver. Thechild so far has been done collectively, the news of
teachers and administrative authorities in educationalthe fall out should also be delivered together by both
institutions should be informed about the divorce. Thisparents. Lastly, even after the divorce the separated
will enable them to understand any sudden change incouple must find ways to keep on parenting without
the behavioral pattern of the children and can beimposing added anxiety upon the children. Loads of
supportive and sympathizing. The child forms its owncare and understanding, keeping the channel for
assumptions and often bear pent up emotions againstcommunication open, constant assurance about the
what they have to experience. This results inparents' unconditional love despite the separation are
occasional hostile behavior or belligerence, towards thethe best way to guide the child thorough this difficult
parents or towards other people. The child may alsophase.
feel that if it minds its manners and behave nicely, its